Artistic Visions #14 – Bynopar

January 29, 2010 by  
Filed under art, culture, enochian

Artistic Visions #14 - Bynopar

Artistic Visions

About the Artist

I started studying in 2004 privately with a studio artist in Maine, then continued with self-study after my arrival in Canada in 2005. In 2008 I began working with my husband, Donald Tyson, illustrating his books, and have continued over the past year. I work with different mediums or even a mix. My favorite so far is watercolor.

Bynopar (and Butmono)

These paragraphs detail Jennifer’s evocation of these two kings, as a special bonus addition to her painting below. — Ed.

These spirits have highly shamanistic attributes. They were present before the ritual even started, while I was doing preparation and requesting to start the working. The appearance of the king reminded me strongly of an image of the Lord of the Dance, which I had seen on a plaque in Enchantments, in Maine. The only difference was that he had clothes on, though I would not have been surprised to see him as this image appeared. Initially, I felt very self consciously aware of the times I had not respected life. Though most of this was in the distant past, I was hesitant to complete the connection with these two spirits. They sensed my hesitation and reassured me of welcome in spite of my past shortcomings.

The music of Lord of the Dance seemed to be appropriate to the imagery. The crown was ram’s horns placed on either side of the head, and the torch was more like a scepter — but then it almost seemed like the torch would be more appropriate. Creative energies streamed from this spirit, diffusing through the entire universe. The effect of the energy made everything mundane seem trivial, and a steady white light and feeling of unity and being the phrase I am perhaps the most appropriate expression of this experience. Worries of the physical world became as trivial as the dust on the floor. Questions and worries were silenced, and a quiet stillness took their place. At the same time, there was also an awareness of the dance of life, that this spirit danced the universe into being. The stillness aspect of these energies was perhaps more represented by Butmono. He appeared priestlike with a gnarled staff. The brilliant white like came from Butmono’s heart chakra, into my head, filling me up totally until I was unaware of anything or anyone else.

I then had the realization that a conversation from earlier that morning was related to the influence of these two spirits. The conversation had been about plants, and I realized that the growing of plants, not necessarily the ingesting of them, could be used for the purpose of certain esoteric effects. The spirits pointed out to me the influence of the plants that I have growing in the house, and suggested things that could be added to them to increase the desirable effects of their auras. My task the afternoon following this rite was to re-pot the plants with worn out soil, as well as a couple that needed larger pots in which to grow properly. Only two of these plants have edible parts; the rest are house plants, yet their influence becomes apparent when the Butmono shows me how their auras actually work. An aftereffect of this evocation was a huge influx of physical energy. I re-potted all the plants, fixed a big lunch, and walked a few kilometers.

During the rite, I brought up two concerns with the spirits. That week, there had been some kind of interference with information and with mailing certain items out to another occultist. According to these spirits, the interference had been dealt with already and should not occur again if I allow the package to be charged before sending out. The interference was trivial and prankish in nature, even though it was rather disturbing to the people on my end who were involved in the incident. That was the first concern.The second was regarding our living situation and setting up a physical space for occult workings. The spirits reminded me that these things will occur in due time and that my concern was with the present. I was also reminded that the greatest temple was myself and the environment where I interact with the spirits. There needs to be a stronger emphasis on outdoor work.

The painting of Bynopar was originally watercolor, then scanned and continued with digital tools to improve the painting.

Bynopar by Jennifer Tyson
©2009 by Jennifer Tyson. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

©2010 by Jennifer Tyson.
Text edited and image resized by Sheta Kaey.

Ocular Distortion – Winter Set

December 15, 2009 by  
Filed under art, culture, photography

Ocular Distortion - Winter Set

Ocular Distortion

About the Artist

My interest in photography began when I was very young. My father was one of the best known photographers and “print men” in Argentina, and since he had a lab in our house I had plenty of opportunities to watch him perform his awe-inspiring magick in the darkroom. I watched and learned and, with his help, became enthralled in black, white, and those 256 shades in between. To me, photography is a perfect blend of science and art.

The 35mm equipment I currently use are a Canon AE-1, a Minolta X-700, and a Samsung Maxima 70 XL for those quick and easy social event shots. My main medium-format cameras are a Kowa 6 and a Mamiya 635. I often indulge in my love for the old and unusual by employing various different cameras from the 1930s, ’40s and ’50s. For example, I will sometimes use a Holga, which is a badly made, cheap, plastic toy medium format camera mass produced in the People’s Republic of China. These things leaks light all over the place, and I have to wrap the camera with duct tape before using it to keep light from leaking in and to keep the film door from flying open and ruining the film. If it were a boat, it would sink. The value of these cameras is in their various flaws. They create blurry images and dramatic contrast, and can often produce those surreal images one sees in magazines. It is so difficult to take a good picture with this camera that the photographer is forced into an understanding of light and the camera eye.

I am something of a traditionalist and don’t particularly care for digital photography. I do, however, enjoy the ease afforded by such hardware, and so I have a digital camera always at the ready around the house so that I can send my family instant pictures of my daughter. I feel that modifying a mediocre picture on a computer to make it look as though the photographer actually knew what he was doing is dishonest, and it takes away the art of having to understand light, aperture and field of vision, because most digital cameras do everything for you. There is nothing for the photographer to do but point and press. When a person shoots with film, they have to think about it for a long time before pushing the shutter button. They have to try to estimate to the best of their ability how the camera is going to “see” the subject, and how the settings they use will effect the overall result. There are many digital photographers that I admire, but to me digital photography represents our culture’s desire for cheap and instant gratification.

— Gerald del Campo

Winterland

Winterland by Gerald del Campo

“Winterland” ©2009 by Gerald del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Twisted

Twisted by Gerald del Campo

“Twisted” ©2009 by Gerald del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

©2009 by Gerald del Campo.
Text edited and images resized by Sheta Kaey.

Gerald del Campo has authored three books on the subject of Thelema: A Heretic’s Guide to Thelema, New Aeon Magick: Thelema Without Tears, and New Aeon English Qabalah Revealed. He is a photographer, musician and CEO for the Order of Thelemic Knights, the first Thelemic charitable organization. You can visit his blog at http://solis93.livejournal.com and his websites at http://thelemicknights.org and http://egoandtheids.com. Gerald serves as Senior Managing Editor of Rending the Veil.

Artistic Visions #13 – A Full Samhain Series

October 22, 2009 by  
Filed under art, culture, mysticism, thelema

Artistic Visions #13 - A Full Samhain Series

Artistic Visions

About the Artist

I began painting long ago while I was still in high school, but of all the painting mediums I have tried I like watercolor the most because I find it the most challenging. Once the paint leaves the brush and is absorbed by the paper, the entire process is out of my hands. The paint goes where it wills and the final painting rarely looks the way I thought it would when I began. This makes me feel as though my paintings are somehow connected with the unseen, or The Divine. The whole process has taught me a thing or two about Lust of Result and being a patient person in general, but I rarely leave a painting unfinished once I start — I begin and finish in one sitting. I am inspired by nature and by my family. Living in Portland provides me with much of my motivation. I do not do traditional watercolor landscapes, and even though my paintings are inspired by my natural surroundings, they are whimsical and exaggerated representations of what I see. The same is true of the portraits that I have been commissioned to paint over the years.

— April del Campo

By the Light of the Moon

Watercolor. In Oregon, there is a vine considered an invasive species that will entirely cover a tree, choking the life out of it. I tried to imagine what would happen and what it would look like if, in order to survive, the tree impregnated the ivy to create a new species.

By the Light of the Moon by April del Campo
©2009 by April del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Ghost Kid

Watercolor. Inspired by a springtime trip to the forest in Oregon, when I came upon a clear cut. I could sense the angst of the creatures that were displaced.

Ghost Kid by April del Campo
©2009 by April del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Iron Flowers

Watercolor. Inspired by Russian iron work. In the U.S., we seem to like straight lines and sharp angles. The Russians have a thing for circles and curves, as I do.

Iron Flowers by April del Campo
©2009 by April del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

H. P. Lovecraft

Watercolor. H. P. Lovecraft, painted while my husband recorded “The Silver Key,” also a title of one of Lovecraft’s novels.

H. P. Lovecraft by April del Campo
©2009 by April del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Strife

Watercolor. Originally called “Racing The Clouds Home.” Inspired by a Marillion song called “White Russian.”

Strife by April del Campo
©2009 by April del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Fall

Watercolor. An image from a typical, stormy, Portland day. This is a tree next to our apartment that appeared to be desperately holding on to as many leaves as possible while the wind beat against it.

Fall by April del Campo
©2009 by April del Campo. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

©2009 April del Campo
Text edited and images resized by Sheta Kaey

Artistic Visions #12 – Bnaspol

October 22, 2009 by  
Filed under art, culture, enochian, evocation, magick

Artistic Visions #12 - Bnaspol

Artistic Visions

About the Artist

I started studying in 2004 privately with a studio artist in Maine, then continued with self-study after my arrival in Canada in 2005. In 2008 I began working with my husband, Donald Tyson, illustrating his books, and have continued over the past year. I work with different mediums or even a mix. My favorite so far is watercolor.

Bnaspol

The painting attached is of a Hepatarchial king — Bnaspol — based on my vision of him. The image of the vision was initially of a very large giant; I could only see his legs and the end of the very large club he carried. My first thought was, “Now what am I supposed to do with this?” The image then transformed to an elderly man dressed in a red hooded robe with gold trim. He had a very long white beard. He gave instruction on the crystal he holds in his hand, among other things. This image reminded me somewhat of a Father Christmas figure with a gold crown instead of a holly wreath.

This is a painting done in ink and water color.

Bnaspol by Jennifer Tyson
©2009 by Jennifer Tyson. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

©2009 by Jennifer Tyson
Text edited and image resized by Sheta Kaey

Artistic Visions #11 – The Path of the Moon

April 14, 2009 by  
Filed under art, culture

Artistic Visions #11 - The Path of the Moon

Artistic Visions

About the Artist

Hettie Rowley is a South African artist and co-owner of the Thelema Trust. Hettie creates all of her work the old fashioned way — by hand, with no computer generated imagery or manipulation. She works in oils, pastels, bronze, pencil, charcoal, watercolor, clay and ink. She collaborates closely with her husband Keith in the production of occult and Thelemic artworks, and also produces a variety of African art, portraits, landscapes and much else. Her husband is still madly in love with her after almost twenty years and considers her to be an artistic genius. He still manages to irritate her, though.

About the Art: The Path of the Moon

Oil on Canvass 1.2mx0.6m

In this occult Thelemic art we see the perplexing journey of the aspiring adept, mired in the duality of all things. Above, the sacred beetle, “Kephra,” surmounts the enfeebled glory of the sick and dying moon, whilst below, the seeker of the light moves forwards in faith, steadfast in hope of redemption through the light of infinity, always conflicted in the choice of paths of light and of darkness. The adept will wonder over the symbolism of this occult art. Does this seeker indeed tread the treacherous 29th Path of the Tree of Life, The Path of the 18th Tarot Atu, The Moon? Or does he tread a path of bewilderment as the Angel of Yesod precipitates a storm of confusion within his mind and soul as he is immersed in the Machinery of the Universe?

The Path of the Moon by Hettie Rowley
Path of the Moon

Artistic Visions is a regularly appearing column featuring original occult oriented art — whether it be traditional, multi-media, or graphic art. (Photography appears in Ocular Distortion.) If you’d like to submit art for publication in RTV, email your images to admin@rendingtheveil.com. We’d love the opportunity to showcase more talent.

©2009 Hettie Rowley
All rights reserved.

Artistic Visions #10 – Lotus

December 31, 2008 by  
Filed under art, culture

Artistic Visions #10 - Lotus

Artistic Visions

About the Artist

My name is Jesse Lindsay. I am a freelance artist currently living in Portland, Oregon after hitchhiking around the U.S. for 6 years.

I refer to my work as “alchemical surrealism.” Most of my art is derived from dreams and studies into alchemical ritual, psychology, and various aspects of the occult. To me, everything is a way of expressing reality in different forms, creating methods that allow each of us to understand.

My work in the public sphere ranges from book illustrations to film projects to collaboration with musicians and galleries. I am working on a project of collected personal works, which I hope to release by the end of 2008.

Aside from art, most of my time is spent with my son Djinn and my daughter Arson. I also enjoy working on personal projects, such as drinking and constant collaboration with my wife and friends.


“Lotus”

Artistic Visions is a regularly appearing column featuring original occult oriented art — whether it be traditional, multi-media, or graphic art. (Photography appears in Ocular Distortion.) If you’d like to submit art for publication in RTV, email your images to admin@rendingtheveil.com. We’d love the opportunity to showcase more talent.

©2008 Jesse Lindsay
Text edited by Sheta Kaey

Artistic Visions #3 – Spontaneous Recurrent

August 1, 2007 by  
Filed under art, culture

Artistic Visions #3 - Spontaneous Recurrent

Artistic Visions

About the Image

This image was inspired by the much-debated phenomenon of recurrent spontaneous psychokinesis, and more directly by the fact that my tablet PC decided to self-destruct.

RSPK, AKA “Poltergeists,” much to parapsychologists’ dismay, are not currently reproducible under laboratory conditions, and even most parapsychologists are skeptical of their existence, but they have gained a solid place in popular consciousness. RSPK is considered to be caused by an agent that is usually unaware of his/her role. The (stereo)typical RSPK agent is a teenage girl undergoing severe emotional stress — I am surprised the idea hasn’t yet gained a foothold in the emo subculture!

I also consider RSPK interesting because it reminds us that magical experiences are not necessarily pleasant, a fact that is usually overlooked by New Age authors who publish in the mainstream. Indeed, there are people jump into the occult after exposure to popular New Age, and find themselves unable to cope with their experiences. Even specialized psycho-therapeutic/psychiatric care exists, and there are therapists — usually Jungian — who increasingly specialize in such clients. (I am not involved in psychotherapy, but even I have seen multiple presentations on this topic on various conferences/workshops.)

I do not want to say that magic is inherently harmful — I do not think it is, only that it has a darker side, and when people talk about the dark side of magic, they usually mean curses, love bonds cast on unwitting partners, and all the stereotypes of classic “black magic.” But I think the dark side of magic that causes suffering to the practitioner himself/herself is much more important, not the least because if physical effects of magic can be — and indeed are — usually disputed, it is without doubt that magic does affect the mind of its practitioner.

Magic is huge, colorful, and overwhelming, just like our own minds, and the external world. To stand in front of ultimate reality, regardless of which path one might take to it — be it science, religion, magic or whatever we humans can come up with — can be an amazing experience, but for our limited minds, it is usually excruciating at the same time. It is this concept that I’ve attempted to express.

Software: Art Rage 2 Full
Hardware: Various

This image also has a sound track, the song “Decepticons” by the Norwegian electronic project Ugress, featuring Therese Vadem on vocals. You can download a free high-quality mp3 from the official Ugress website. I listened to this a lot while I was drawing. (Here I must express my thanks to Ádám Dobay, who recommended Ugress to me.)

Spontaneous Recurrent
Image: “Spontaneous Recurrent” ©2007 Prezzey. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission.

About the Artist

Prezzey says: I am studying cognitive psychology (hoping to get my Master’s this fall) and theoretical linguistics. I’m also interested in all varieties of the graphic arts, and spend a lot of time drawing with the aid of a computer graphics tablet.

I review science fiction for the Hungarian Sci-Fi magazine Galaktika, and I occasionally write short stories . . . though it would probably be more accurate to say that I write a lot, I just seldom complete anything.

My connection to magic is through Kabbalah — as an observant, Modern Orthodox Jew who is also somewhat mystically inclined, I naturally developed an interest in my religion’s more esoteric side. However, I think Kabbalah should be interpreted and practiced in its original context, and I definitely do not place it above halachah, ie. Jewish law, myself.

I am also interested in the reasons why people practice magic, the psychological function of magical practices, and the way various occult systems around the world are structured. This ties in to science fiction — I have an SF worldbuilding project, the Free State of Eren, whose inhabitants have a complicated occult system which I designed based on what I know of similar real-world structures, and the way the human mind processes information. You will see more of this in the near future, G-d willing.

©2007 Prezzey
Copy edited by Sheta Kaey

Artistic Visions #2 – The Turul

June 21, 2007 by  
Filed under art, culture

Artistic Visions #2 - The Turul

Artistic Visions

About the Image

This image depicts the mythical Turul bird (“turulmadár”). The Turul, the national animal of Hungary, is one of the few remaining figures of ancient Hungarian lore; it’s traditionally depicted as a falcon, but nothing is known about the exact species. Myths say the Hungarian people were begotten from the Turul, and a Turul led Hungarians to the land of Hungary from the East.

The Turul is associated with military might and it is a popular symbol of the armed forces and intelligence agencies up to this day. Unfortunately, it is this aspect of the Turul that also made it popular with the Nazis before and during WWII; and it could be for this reason that radical nationalist groups have started using the Turul as one of their symbols. This has led to controversy, and now moderates tend to shy away from the Turul.

I have felt close to the Turul ever since I was a child as do, I suspect, most Hungarians my age. It is a beautiful and powerful creature, and very few details remain known about it; so when we learned about it as school children, or at home, it captivated our imagination. I also lived in Gyõr, a city in northwestern Hungary, most of my life — on the way from Gyõr to the capital, Budapest, a route I have traveled countless times, the highways and railway lines pass by the hills of Tatabánya, where Europe’s largest bird statue, a Turul is sitting on one of the peaks. (When I was a child, it was removed for renovation; when I first saw the Tatabánya hills, the statue was missing. My family told me the Turul bird should be there, and from then on I eagerly awaited its return.)

This is why I am feeling very dismayed over the recent controversy and why I have chosen to draw a Turul for this issue of Rending the Veil. I am Jewish and not Pagan, so I do not revere the Turul as a deity in any shape or form. However, the Turul evokes very strong emotions from most Hungarians (though these emotions can be quite different!), and it embodies Hungarian nationhood and strength, and it is this thoughtform I have worked with in the past with success.

This image is meant to illustrate a few different things about the Turul in my mind. The red-white-black color scheme is very martial and is also associated with Nazism, unfortunately, like the Turul tends to be. The large letters slightly right to the center are Hungarian Runes — the ancient Hungarian alphabet that has also recently become fashionable with radical right-wing activists. (This I personally find very problematic since these are basic elements of our culture and should not belong to specific political groups. Since no one on the political Left seems interested in reclaiming the Turul, I am doing it myself right now.) Hungarian Runes are usually written from right to left, with many ligatures between the runes, but for the sake of composition they are in a vertical line here. The lines on the bottom are a variant on the “Árpád-sáv,” the red-white striped flag of the first Hungarian rulers that has also become controversial recently for many of the same reasons (isn’t this getting repetitive?). I want to return these symbols to the mainstream, where they have always belonged, with the power of art. But I’m over-explaining myself already. . . so I just wish to provide one more piece of information: the handwritten Hebrew to the left says “Gevurah;” because in my opinion the Turul’s attributes that I’ve described above make it belong to this s´firah. Black and red are also the colors of Gevurah.

Software: ArtRage 2 Full
Hardware: Thinkpad X60 Tablet

Turul
Image: “The Turul” ©2007 Prezzey. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission.

Prezzey says: I am studying cognitive psychology (hoping to get my Master’s this fall) and theoretical linguistics. I’m also interested in all varieties of the graphic arts, and spend a lot of time drawing with the aid of a computer graphics tablet.

I review science fiction for the Hungarian Sci-Fi magazine Galaktika, and I occasionally write short stories . . . though it would probably be more accurate to say that I write a lot, I just seldom complete anything.

My connection to magic is through Kabbalah — as an observant, Modern Orthodox Jew who is also somewhat mystically inclined, I naturally developed an interest in my religion’s more esoteric side. However, I think Kabbalah should be interpreted and practiced in its original context, and I definitely do not place it above halachah, ie. Jewish law, myself.

I am also interested in the reasons why people practice magic, the psychological function of magical practices, and the way various occult systems around the world are structured. This ties in to science fiction — I have an SF worldbuilding project, the Free State of Eren, whose inhabitants have a complicated occult system which I designed based on what I know of similar real-world structures, and the way the human mind processes information. You will see more of this in the near future, G-d willing.

©2007 by Prezzy.
Edited by Sheta Kaey.

Artistic Visions #1 – The Magus

April 30, 2007 by  
Filed under art

Artistic Visions #1 - The Magus

Artistic Visions

We seem to have lost this image. As of November 2013, we have contacted the artist in hopes of retrieving it. Stay tuned.

About The Image

The Hebrew inscription says “Sod,” meaning “secret,” which is also the name of the most esoteric of the four traditional levels of Torah interpretation.

This particular image was drawn with the full version of ArtRage 2, with minimal editing in Photoshop CS2, on a Thinkpad X60 Tablet PC.

Magus
Image: “The Magus” ©2007 Prezzey. All Rights Reserved. Used With Permission.

About The Artist

Prezzey says: I am studying cognitive psychology (hoping to get my Master’s this fall) and theoretical linguistics. I’m also interested in all varieties of the graphic arts, and spend a lot of time drawing with the aid of a computer graphics tablet.

I review science fiction for the Hungarian Sci-Fi magazine Galaktika, and I occasionally write short stories. . . though it would probably be more accurate to say that I write a lot, I just seldom complete anything.

My connection to magic is through Kabbalah — as an observant, Modern Orthodox Jew who is also somewhat mystically inclined, I naturally developed an interest in my religion’s more esoteric side. However, I think Kabbalah should be interpreted and practiced in its original context, and I definitely do not place it above halachah, ie. Jewish law, myself.

I am also interested in the reasons why people practice magic, the psychological function of magical practices, and the way various occult systems around the world are structured. This ties in to science fiction — I have an SF worldbuilding project, the Free State of Eren, whose inhabitants have a complicated occult system which I designed based on what I know of similar real-world structures, and the way the human mind processes information. You will see more of this in the near future, G-d willing.

©2007 Prezzey. Text edited by Sheta Kaey.

Evocations of Emotions

January 27, 2007 by  
Filed under art, culture, divination, evocation, experimental, magick, tarot

Evocations of Emotions

Recently, I decided to do a grieving ritual for my time in academia. I’d dropped out of my PhD in 2005 and for almost a year had not really had a chance to process the emotions over leaving under such circumstances. My wife had bought me the Voyager Tarot, and I needed to break it in, so I decided to use it to help me divine the various causes of my grief. By objectifying my grief through the reading, I could draw those elements out of my psyche and take control of my grief, bring it to a resolution.

Tarot cards
The picture is for a frame of reference as I refer to each card.

The central card was Logic, which accurately represented academic thought processes and so was the core of the particular sorrow I wanted to evoke.

The card to the bottom left was a card that explained the mission of the Voyager Tarot. The lines that stood out to me were: “Voyager Tarot is a mirror extension of yourself. Respect it as you Respect yourself1.” The words “mirror” and “respect” especially resonated with me. I’ve always used mirrors as a gateway to myself, and I realized that I needed to find some respect that I’d lost for myself in leaving academia.

To the immediate left was the Sun card, representing glory and power. In this particular case, it represented a feeling of dis-empowerment that I’d felt as a result of my academic experiences. That dis-empowerment came in the form of a loss of self-confidence in my writing and in who I identified myself to be.

On the upper left was Compassion, which indicated a need to forgive myself as well as the others in the situation. I tend to hold grudges for a long time, both toward myself and other people. In order for me to find my peace I knew needed to forgive everyone involved.

Above the Logic card was the Seeker Card. This one represented both my desire to seek a resolution and the vulnerability I’d felt as a seeker of knowledge in academia. It was the loss of my social life (at that point in time), but also the loss of my innocence. When I’d gone to academia I’d sought a community of fellowship and had quickly found that no such community existed and that a lot of competition was involved in the learning process.

The card on the upper right hand corner was time-space and represented my feelings of bitterness over spending three and a half years in a PhD program, without getting the degree. There have been times when I’ve felt I wasted those three and a half years. Rationally I know otherwise, because all experiences are never wasted. Emotionally, I was irrational and wanted those three and a half years back.

To the immediate right was the learner card, which represented the loss of wonder and enjoyment in learning I experienced when I realized academia was a game and not quite the place of learning I’d thought it was. I wanted learning to be fun again, instead of being a tedious chore of proving who could drop more names than the other person.

The card to the lower right was confusion, which represents what I felt and still feel about my academic experience. I was confused by how I got to the point where I needed to leave the program. I was also confused by the feelings of bitterness I had over choosing to leave, and the wistful longing that occasionally brought up a desire to be back in academia.

After I did the reading, I left the cards out and pulled out my art supplies. I felt it was useful for me to grieve by evoking and expressing that grief. I allowed each tarot card to register in my mind’s eye and then asked the consciousness of that card to take over and guide my hands in painting the symbols that best expressed the meanings I’d found in the cards. I also wanted to paint how those meanings related to each other, by creating in the symbols a linkage to the other symbols.

During the actual painting, I didn’t feel any grief. The trance I was in focused more on getting the symbols on paper. But the creation and linkage of those symbols was also meant to create a gate in the painting, for the purpose of containing and evoking the energy of the emotions I felt, so that the energy could be put to better use than in a continual cycle of grief and anger.

Painting
This is a picture of the painting. Each of the symbols relates to the spread I drew.

Once the painting was completed, I vividly recalled the feelings I associated with academia. The frustration I felt at failing the exams, the politics, the three and a half years of time I’d invested into the degree, not getting the degree, the loss of confidence and the feeling of dis-empowerment I felt; all of these feelings surged with a vengeance into my consciousness. My chest felt heavy, as if a large block was on it. I then opened my mouth and “vomited” the energy into the painting. A loud keening cry of sorrow came from throat as I gave voice to the grief and regret I felt over everything that had happened. This continued for quite a while. When I could no longer give voice to my grief, I stopped. The energy had gone into the painting, where I could access it as needed, but where it would also no longer be a toxic presence in my life.

I’ve always taken the approach that any and everything has its uses. I’ve used similar evocations of emotions before to store away emotional energy. I still feel the energy, but it’s then recycled and stored away until it’s needed for magical workings. I no longer wallow in the pain. Instead, those emotions are directed toward accomplishing specific goals and tasks that will help me achieve my desires. I would note that a person shouldn’t think I’ve closed myself off from the emotions or denied their validity. The purpose of the ritual is to grieve, to vent, and give the sorrow a voice, but also to redirect that energy so it no longer cycles back to the subconscious to torment me further.

As an interesting side note, after doing this ritual, some of my insecurities reared their heads, probably because of the deep plunge into the subconscious to deal with the lingering emotional issues concerning academia. In particular, I had a vivid nightmare of being judged by a panel of people. Over the next day and a half, these insecurities were expressed in several different ways, through online posts and through just feeling the emotions. However, in each case I was able to consciously act in regards to the insecurities and come to a resolution that was beneficial for those feelings. I think these insecurities woke up because they related to the issues in the painting. In other words, it was the rest of the emotions expressing themselves before being funneled into the painting where they could be stored until evoked for magical purposes.

Footnotes

  1. Voyager Tarot Kit: Intuition Cards for the 21st Century Wanson & Knutsen 1984

©2007 Taylor Ellwood. Edited by Sheta Kaey

Taylor Ellwood is the author of Space/Time Magic, Inner Alchemy: Energy Work and the Magic of the Body, and Pop Culture Magick, among other works. You can visit his blog at http://magicalexperiments.com/ and his website at http://www.thegreenwolf.com/.

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